Norwegian Adventure (Sequel to Norwegian Drama)

Okay so as you read it in "Norwegian Drama part 1 & 2", there was a lot of drama during the first two days of my stay in Norway as I had taken 3 flights to get there, was on jet lag and experienced some crazy drunk-clubbing. I am pleased to assure you that everything was perfectly normal and fine after that obnoxious night out of July 2nd! On July 3rd, Nizza and I woke up at 3pm, had breakfast and reconciliated as we explained to each other what had happened the night before. We agreed that we had both abused of alcohol, were tired and that we just drifted apart when the hookers took charge of her and pulled me aside, alone with Tora the rapist.

We then decided to have a nice day and forget about all that drama by heading to the beach in Ogna, which is a small town south of Bryne where my friend lives, in the province of Rogaland. That's how we embarked ourselves on the train leading south and hopped off at Ogna station. I thought the beach would be next to the station but we had to walk through a few fields inhabited by cows and sheeps which offered an incredibly cute spectacle. It was nice to walk through this area as the grass was super green and the panorama was filled with huge stones here and there, along with a few trees and several cows and sheeps. It really did look like a typical Scandinavian postcard. Nizza and I had a lot of fun teasing the sheeps and taking photos of them! We then reached the beach which was a bit rocky but that's when I got to learn that there was a much nicer beach just over the river which separated the two.

We both agreed to cross the river bringing all of our belongings with us which involved carrying our bags, shoes and clothes over our heads while walking in the river which was deep enough to cover up our ribs! Even though the outside temperature wasn't too hot (18 degrees or such), the river was not too cold either and offered a quite refreshing swim. Over the river was a picturesque setting; dark sand, big waves and grey horizon which truly made the Norwegian Sea appear even darker and icier than you would ever imagine! I kind of liked it but when I dared to dip my toes into it, I realized it was way colder than the river we had just swum in. The sea must have been no warmer than 8 degrees lol! I had previously told Nizza that I was used to swim in cold water as the lakes and rivers in Quebec are cold and that the Atlantic Ocean in the nearby US states are cold as well but that was colder than I would have imagined. I guess it was like swimming in Maine in October lol!

The following day we had the brilliant idea to go hike around Lysefjorden to reach the peak of Preikestolen. Going to the area below Preikestolen was a little longer than I would've thought; we had to take a train to Stavanger, hop in a boat and then take a bus. I have to say that it was actually really nice to see new places around Stavanger and to ride a boat. OMG I also need to mention that I saw the man of my dreams on the boat but didn't dare to talk to him so I'll never see him again, too bad! Anyways, after we hopped off the bus, we hurried to climb the 500 meters or so that separate the bottom part of the cliff and the tip of Preikestolen. It took something like three hours and a half to reach the top and it was no easy hike; the pathway is rugged and replete with freshwater cascades, huge rocks, Asian tourists, children, obese people and even marsh lands lol! Nizza had come there a few weeks earlier so she remembered pretty well the way to get there and how long it would take.

Upon reaching the top, I was more excited than any 5 year-olds around but was also beginning to be frightened by the 604m downfall to the fjord below!!! The fact that there's no fence or gateway forbidding you to jump from the rock made me think of all kinds of plausible suicides that might have occured there! At first, I didn't dare to approach the end of the rock near the vacuum but as we both started to tease and play around more and more, I became brave enough to get closer to it! We took many many photos of us fooling around on the rock and at the tip and also one of us "meditating" on top lol! We had a succulent lunch -thanks to Nizza ;-)- which consisted of low-carb bread, fresh fish, caviar and cheese. We had to hurry the fuck up to get down though because the last bus would pass an hour and a half after we were done kidding at the tip. We got down the whole cliff quicker than an hour and a half and caught the last bus! We more than happy!

That last night in Norge (Norway), we came back home at around midnight and the sun was still shining and then had dinner. I had to repack everything in my luggage and Nizza had to pack her luggage starting from scratch. I had three hours of sleep that night and I think Nizza didn't get any as we had to wake up at six to leave her appartment, take a bus ride to the airport and leave for Stockholm! I'll tell you what happened in Stockholm in the next article!

From the ferry to Lysefjorden

At the bottom of Preikestolen

Indeed, it is 604m high!!!!

My crazy self at the tip of Preikestolen! Thank God it was foggy that day
otherwise I would've never dared to do that!!!

Norwegian Drama part 2

The Radisson Blu in Stavanger near the pond

After Odd dared to publicly claim his liking for my ass, he would never stop talking about it which made me feel both proud embarassed at the same time, the latter feeling coming up later during the "Vorspielt" and the former staying present until today!! He even asked to grab my ass! Unsurprisingly, I told him to rejoice himself lol! We continued to drink more and more until we got up so drunk that Odd kissed me. I have to say I still have doubts regarding his sexual orientation but won't talk about it to Nizza as he's her former boyfriend!

That evening, my fantasies didn't come true and Odd left us really early. Accompanied by his others friend Magnum, he headed back to Radisson Blu. Nizza and I then partied at two different spots in Stavanger. Unfortunately, I coudln't tell you the names as they're in Norwegian and also because I was too drunk to remember. The last club we went to was really glam and near. Nizza's friend Tora remained with us all night and kept buying us cider after cider. He was more odd than Odd and his weird attitude and killer look earned him the nickname "The Rapist"! What happened that inside the last club we went in that night is still very vague and nebulous in my memory.

As I can remember, we met a striking blond Swedish guy who looked gay but who didn't seem so interested by me. Then we continued to drink Tora's ciders and went into a little corner at the topmost floor of the club. That's when I met Stéphane, Nizza's love interest. What's so funny is that I never knew he was the one until the day after when Nizza mentionned it to me lol. Nizza was getting more and more drunk every minute, thanks to Tora the rapist! She had put four pouches of Snus in her mouth (4 times more nicotine) and had drunk a lot! I was super tipsy ans utterly horny! I began grinding Nizza but she wouldn't move as the excess alcohol in her blood forbade her to make use of any of her limbs. There was also a slutty girl next to us who was dancing provocatively and who was scantily clad. I had no inhibition whatsoever so I decided to dry-hump her from behind and never let go of her! She seemed to like it but to my astonishment, she suddenly faced me and bit me deeply into my chest, just under my right nipple! I started bleeding but couldn't feel the pain as I was numb with alcohol, lost in translation and confused with the jet lag!

A few minutes later, the club closed its doors and we saw ourselves gathered in front of it. Nizza began a profound discussion with the nearby hookers and asked'em if they ever fell in love. Just like Copenhagen, they were all black and were very insistant if you know wut I mean...! I was freaking tired; it was my second night there after all! I was pulling after Nizza to catch the last train and leave but she didn't want to and kept saying we had already missed it. In what seemed to me as farewell, Nizza left with the hookers and walked a little further. I was drunk and exhausted and started to panic so I cried my heart out in the middle of the street!

The crazy rapist -Tora- stayed with me the whole time and wasn't of any help; he would just accompany me anywhere and tell me to calm down! What's up with that?! I desperately tried to go back to Radisson Blu and ask for Odd and Magnum's room. The receptionist was a flagrant, filth-mouthed bitch; she dryly told me it was 4 am and that she wouldn't allow me to call them. I was crying and trying the best I could to pull my shit together, articulate and behave but she never agreed to let me call them! I kept telling her I was from Canada, was on jet lag and was desperate to find a friggin' shelter for the night! She didn't want to negotiate with me, what a fucking bitch!!!

I then met a chubby girl who was standing there with her effiminate latino friend. She was quite nice and proposed to invite me to a "Nachspielt" at her place and said "everything would be alright". I was about to go to their place but Tora the rapist was doing everything he could to restrain me to. I told him to piss off and went along with these newly-introduced acquaintances.

When I got to the chubby girl's appartment, I felt really bad and confused; I litteraly felt like crap! I was wondering where the fuck Nizza was, why "the rapist" didn't want to go with'em and why that was happening to me! I was slowly but surely starting to gain sobriety back and had a moment of cleverness and that's when I decided to call Nizza. Her too was wondering where the fuck I had been and agreed to hop in a cab and head straight to the chubby girl's place to "rescue me". When she arrived, she was so wasted, she just wanted a blanket. She then sashayed to the bathroom accompanied by the dear rapist.

They left me in the chubby girl's living room while I was being raped by her; she would go on and on grabbing my crotch, trying to feel my penis and tell me I couldn't be gay! She said she wanted to have sex with me and kept sayin' she wanted to see my Canadian maple leaf! She then dry-humped me and acted weirdly. Then all of a sudden, she started yelling after us and knocked on the bathroom's door and told Nizza, the rapist and I to all get lost. That's how we managed to take a cab, pay 200$ and arrive home at 8am!!!

During the whole taxi ride and even after we had headed home, Nizza seemed overly mad at me. We started talking about it the day after and I got to know that the chubby girl had told her that I would go back to Nizza's place, take my luggage to leave her and that I wouldn't travel with her at all. Of course, I didn't understand a word of the conversation these two had since I don't speak Norwegian but I still can't believe this girl was so insistant and wanted to screw our whole vacation that we had planned two months in advance!!! Lemme tell ya one thang: that was way too many bizarre stuff happenning in the same night!!!

Norwegian Drama part 1

Okay so now you know about my 1st day in Norway but you don't know that much! I need to implement about what I did during the remaining three and half days of my stay out there. So the second day in Norway, Nizza and I woke up at 3pm (lol)! I was refreshened and ready to hit on the hot Norwegians and take a dip into their tight and deep fjords! That's how Nizza and I happenedd to get to Stavanger by train and stop at the Radisson Blu Hotel downtown. Her friends Odd and Magnum had booked a room for the weekend as they knew there would be a Volleyball tournament with international teams, hot girls and big parties.

We proceeded to their room, introduced ourselves and chatted a bit and then Nizza and I left to go sightseeing around the Stavanger harbrour. It was slightly grey and rainy outside so we had to carry ur umbrellas around to take photos. As I'm a picaholic myself, I guess I annoyed the shit out of Nizza for taking photos of everything every two seconds lol!

We gathered around old town Stavanger which was very attractive with its small wooden houses which reminded me of photos that I had seen of Reykjavik (Iceland). The old town was a "must-see" and was calm and nice. We then tangled around the harbour heading East and passed next to the Volleyball tournament where Norway was playing against Brazil. There was tension in the air but I guess they were trying to lower it a little by playing "Call On Me" lol!!! The players were all truthfully edible and were shaped like Gods which made my firefighter display its hose (!). Nizza and I were intrigued by a dark Brazilian player who was more fit than a marble statue, had long toned legsm a tight ass and a jawdropping jaw! I'm such a stalker; I shamelessly took several photos of his buns right in front of him and posted them on Facebook lol!!!

Nizza showed me around (the Dom Kirke, the weird statues, the tower of Stavanger, the colorful houses, the pubs, etc.) and agreed to follow me to McDonald's to déguster a Daim McFlurry. This has become a tradition among us. We then headed back to the hotel by walking next to the pond and harassing the nasty swans. Once we got back to her friends' hotel room, we started drinking heavily. Nizza forced me to drink a lot as she would remind me it costs so much to drink in Norway; I should get drunk before going out and therefore save a lot of pesos. I agreed and followed my Norwegian master's instructions.

We basically drank Captain Morgan mixed with Coke, Danish Carlsberg's beer and local Norwegian beers. As the temperature in the room was getting warmer and warmer, I decided to take off my jacket and reveal my über-sexuell t-shirt that read "come over for some sex and pizza"! Being a horny gay man myself, I noticed right at the beginning that Nizza's ex-boyfriend, Odd (that was his name) was quite odd about me; he would gaze into my eyes in a very gay manner. By gay I mean both joyful and queer! For an unbeknownst reason, we started discussing our heights and staturea. That's when Nizza said Odd and I were about the same height.

I had been standing next to him a few minutes ago and as I had been able to notice, I was pretty sure I stood a few centimeters taller than him. That's when we stood up back to back and compared. Nizza's verdict was that I was indeed, a few cms taller. Odd was 1m84 and so I guess I'm like 1m87 or something.

Anyways, let's not get lost into insignificant details; the reason why I brought this up is because Odd seemed to have a become incredibly excited after our buns touched! He said hey Rodzilla,do you workout or do any special training? I humbly replied I had been working out at the gym and did some swimming as well but was wondering why he was asking. 

The next thing he told me made me smile and boil inside; he claimed "I don't know, but you have a very fit and muscular ass". Okay, as a gay man, I have to admit that I couldn't feel more flattered or happy when another man -no matter gay, straight or bi- tells me I have a nice ass! I'm an ass man in both ways; I love other people's asses and I'm glad when people like mine!

Sexy Team Brazil!

Gamle Stavanger (Old Stavanger)

Nizza's fridge with Norwegian ads and the Quebec flag I brought her ;-)! How cool!

Stavanger's Dom Kirke (Norway's oldest cathedral, they started building it in 1100!!!)

Stavanger is a funny and wacky place!

Nizza's worst nightmare: snails!

The setting at Ogna

The Norwegian Sea at Ogna!

First Day of Tha Big Trip!!!

After a whole night (okay 7 hours) spent in the Corsairfly Airbus (I chose it ‘cause it was the cheapest flight) that was scheduled to bring me to Paris-Orly departing from YUL, I ran like crazy to get my luggage back and find the RER station to get to Charles-de-Gaulles, the biggest airport.

I have to say that I was already über tired and had to run my life to get there on time to catch my flight for Oslo. My first flight had been delayed by an hour and 20 minutes and my second flight was being delayed by 45 minutes. I wasn't that stressed out anymore (too much fatigue probably) but I knew for sure that I wouldn't be on time to catch my flight for Stavanger.

When I got to Oslo, I hurried the fuck up to get to "baggage drop", and pass security in order to catch my last flight which was supposed to be quick'n smooth. Unfortunately, the moment I showed my boarding pass to the SAS (Scandinavian Airlines) counter agent, he told me I couldn't hop on my flight to Stavanger as I was coming in too late. Not only did he announce me that incredibly frustrating news, he also gnarly asked me why I was so late. Goddamnit was I pissed it! I was like "Vennligst you dummie but both my flights are with SAS, tain't my problem if YOU guys brought me in so late! I'm from Canada, I traveled all day, I'm on jet lag and I didn't sleep since 48 hours so could you fucking accomodate me?!".

He seemed to suddenly be willing to cooperate, use his best judgment and help me pull my shit together to get to Western Norway. He gently asked me if I would prefer take the next plane in an hour but with no certainty of boarding or wait two hours and be assured to get on board with this flight. I was so pissed that I preferred to wait two hours instead of taking a chance and be sure that I'd leave than have high hopes to board after an hour, be refused and get a third boarding pass for the same flight!!!

My final flight was okay and I landed at the very cute and charming Sola airport located west of Stavanger. It was sunny and warm when I landed and Nizza was already waiting for me in the hall even before I got to "baggage claim". I was more than thrilled to reunite after a whole year! It's so nice that her and I kept in touch for that long even if we had met at a hostel in Nice and didn't even spend that much time together! I guess that's what the old saying means: "quality, not quantity".

I was overexcited to be with Nizza and her dad as they were bringing me to her place just a little bit south (Bryne) illico. I got to see her artsy and hipster appartment, have a chat and gossip about our forecasted trip, adventures and misadventures of course!

That first night, I might have been on jet lag but I didn't want to be a bullet to Nizza and since it was friday night, we decided to go out on the town of Stavanger. I was instantly shocked to learn that taking the train was 18$ for a one-way trip and this, after the student discount had reduced the price by 25% or so!!!

The town was very exquisite at night and truly had that Viking's haven type of feeling but as I was tired and felt a bit overwhelmed by all that travelling in one day, I didn't really feel like partying. I could see that Nizza really wanted to go so we went to like two bars in a row. The Scandinavian people might be cold and reserved, alcohol warms them up rapidly and they get utterly hyper and impulsive when they've drunk!

That evening, I could hardly keep my eyes open and all I remember is that the booze was overly expensive (like 16$ for a beer), everyone was screaming and shaking dust all over the place and that we met a friend of Nizza's called Ingrid who was leaving for Greece the following day. I don't remember much more than that lol! We ended up taking the last train at 2h35 am and went to bed at 4am! Killer day lol! Nizza and I were meant to strive accross Europe! Love U hon'!