Top 20 Hottest Québécois (part 2: 10-1)

Here's the rest and most important part of the list!!!

10. Garou

Garou is that sexy crooner who's career has become worldwide just recently and who's been involved in a remarkable duet with famed Céline Dion (Quebec's diva). Garou has the looks and the attitude of a successful man and we all know he is. He's hot.

Top 20 Hottest Québécois (part 1: 20-10)

I was watching the premiere "Occupation Double" yesterday night and realized how good-looking us, Quebec men are. I'm not saying that to imply that I'm extraordinarily good-looking but mainly to reinforce our national pride ;-)! I think the guys from "Occupation Double" (I like to call it Pénétration Double (double penetration)) are all quite sexy but the thing is they're all stupid and meaningless. I'm not interested by men like that and given the fact that they're all straight, I'm even less into them. That's why none of the guys from "Pénétration Double" are listed below. The men that I put on my "Top 20" are listed on more profound categories such as personality, career, charisma, sense of humour, looks, sex appeal and tightness of the pâté. I included some of my fellow Quebec gays on the list because, well hell I gotta make a tribute to them; they're my counterparts for Christ's sake! Hope you enjoy!

20. Pierre Fitch

Listed as last, Mr. Fitch is a gay porn star from Montreal. He is quite famous among the gay community, not just in Montreal but also around the world lol!

Cultural Sundays

I've been to several cultural events in the last two weeks and I'm really proud of myself! I mean that's something I always like to do and keep on telling myself to do more often but with school and work, I tend not to have time nor energy to get out of my south shore house and do something on my free days. My free days consist in fact of one day in the week, that is sunday. Like in the Medieval time, sundays are sacred for me as I don't work nor have to attend any class. I am therefore available for any of my friends and can therefore bethink myself, enjoy life, let go of my everyday stress, head to the gym, sleep late and attend cultural events!!!

Just last week, I went to the Botanical Garden of Montreal (jardin botanique) and got to see the "lanternes chinoises" exhibit around the Asian section of the garden. I went there accompanied by Merry, Jizz and Laura at night. The spectacle was truthfully magical and it felt like we had been teleported into a fairytale. There were Chinese lanterns scattered around the main pond of the Asian section of the garden and they were pretty motley as there were regular small lanterns that weren't too far in style from regular Western lanterns but there were also some really impressive and massive lanterns that were basically Chinese warriors, plants, trees, carriages and buildings. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my camera! I couldn't pull an Asian tourist out of myself but did find a few beautiful photographs of these images on the web which I'll post down from here. The lanterns had required a necessary six months of  creation to make them as good-looking as they were and had been hand-crafted by Shanghai artists.

We had purchased a bundle deal and had free access to the Insectarium (like an Aquarium but for insects lol) as well so we paid a visit our insect friends who were trapped in boxes (thank God)! What litteraly scared the shit out of me was when we got to see a friggin' Goliath Birdeater Tarantula; these tarantulas are the world's biggest in terms of both size and weight...! I'm not kidding y'all when I say they can measure up to 60cm of width and weigh almost one pound!!! I'm not scared of lizards, snakes, crocodiles, sharks or scorpions but I get frightened shitless when I see tarantulas. I don't know why they're so scary. Perhaps it's because they're really ugly and disgusting and look like they're gonna jump in yo face and eat you! I know they could never eat us but they look aggressive and mean lol! Jizz seemed even more scared than me which I'm glad of as I would pass for a pussy if there hadn't been someone more scared than me with us lol! I hadn't been to the Insectarium in ages but realized I had been missing on a lot of stuff as it's really entertaining and captivating to know some facts about insects. Some of them are incredibly colorful and beautiful while some others are quite smart at building nests such as termites.

 

 

Laura and I hadn't really spent much time together before that evening but got along fairly well. I like her and still don't understand why Mahmud -remember him?!- doesn't want to admit to her that he's gay. To make a long story short, they're both Lebanese and their families know each other. That being said, Mahmud doesn'want everybody in his family and other Baklavas he knows to get to learn about his homosexuality. I guess he's not going to befriend this gang anymore. I also got to learn he moved out of his parents' and now lives with a friend. I couldn't care less as the dude seems paranoid and crazy. I guess I was out of my mind when I thought of him as a potential date!

Anyways, back to my cultural sundays, I decided that from now on I would always do an interesting and enriching activity on sundays so that I get to learn stuff, enjoy the city of Montreal (in another way than just taking the subway, being harassed by homeless people and going to school), gather with friends and take it easy. Sundays are sacred, Amen on that!

The fucking disgusting Goliath Birdeater Tarantula

Snus or My New Love Affair

For those of you who don't know what snus is, well it's actually the Swedish version of snuff. It basically is tobacco "powder" if we can call stuffed into a little pouch similar to a tea bag. The way to consume it is to place it below your upper lip and that's how you will get the nicotine from it. The nicotine is then transferred into your blood stream via the blood vessels in your gums. I know it sounds nasty but it's kind of fun actually. My Norwegian friend Nizza is the one who introduced me to Snus. I don't think she would be super happy to read that but hey, that's the truth and she might eventually fall on this article and read it lol!

I'm actually pretty glad she introduced me to snus as it relaxes me a lot after work. I try to take one pouch a week and not exceed that since it's not really good for your health but at the same time, I don't think a bag a week is gonna kill me! When I was en route to Norway last July, Nizza had asked me if I could stop at the Duty Free in Oslo and buy her some snus. At first, I didn't even know what snus was so I had to google it lol! When I saw what it consisted of I was completely grossed out and never thought I'd dare to try! It seemed so disgusting to me to put real tobacco on your gums! Nizza and I traveled together from Norway to Sweden and then to London without me ever trying snus.

When we reunited in Lisbon, Portugal in August, I was so tempted to try it one night that I sticked a pouch of Stark portion of Skruf under my upper lip and waited until I could feel a thing. The heck was it was a 3 on 4 in terms of strength and trust me, that lil'm pouch got me pretty high! I even went on to take two in that same evening and Nizza warned me to take it out as soon as I'd feel dizzy otherwise I might throw up. I felt okay until I took the second one. I have to mention that I had drunk a bit between the two so it might not have helped but I ended up so wasted that I almost crawled back to my dorm and was rolling on the floor at the foot of Terrine's bed! She kept on asking me if I was okay and I would just utter weird sounds as I was almost unconscious!

On our last day in Portugal, I asked Nizza if she could lend me a can of Skruf and she was like it's okay as she knew I would probably not take it all and share with friends back home in Canada. What she didn't know is I actually like snus a lot more than expected and after I finished my can of Skruf Stark Portion, I went online to try to find websites where I could order snus online and have it shipped to my house in Canada. Initially I thought it was illegal but it turned out to be legal as I received a can of eucalyptus-flavoured snus by a Swedish brand called Catch. Nizza wasn't so proud when she got to learn that but she was like hey, I can't forbid you to take snus especially if you're in Canada and I'm in Norway!

The website I used is called http://northerner.com and is pretty user-friendly. So for those of you who don't live in Scandinavia and that like snus or have never tried and would be willing to, you can order online on this website. Snus is very trendy in Scandinavia and everybody takes some when they go out clubbing. If you want a "physical" pick-up line for hot Scandinavians -whether girls or boys- you can just pop your snus can open and wink at them ;-)!!! I'm not done with my can of Eucalyptus yet but would recommend it a thousand times more than the regular strong Skruf as it makes you dizzy after 5 minutes, burns in your mouth and doesn't taste good. Eucalyptus is a much better choice. Guess what I'll order next time: Skruf TRANBÄR! Of course I gotta try me some tranbär ;-)!

BTW: Terrine and I tried to find some snus in the US (we went to Plattsburgh, NY) and all we found was a can filled with tobacco powder but none with tobacco in pouches like Swedish snus so for my Quebec fellows, don't bother crossing the border just to get snus; order it online and you'll have a much wider array of variety and choice. AMEN.

Catch brand, the green cans are Eucalyptus-flavoured

Swedish Skruf brand

A Swedish mama stuffing her upper lip with a snus pouch

Skruf Tranbär! The Cranberry God

Song of the Week (Sept. 24th to Oct. 1)

This week's winner is quite funny. The only catch is it's in French (from Quebec) so not everbody might be able to understand it. I need to tell you that a lot of stuff are in English though so you might be able to understand a bit. The title is "Push Up Bra" so you might be able to guess what it is about! It's a satirical song done by "Les Satiriques" that fools around the "push up bra" phenomenon which makes women's boobs look a lot bigger than they actually are and disappoints men when they take their companions' bras off! Les Satiriques are a Quebec comic music group who have been responsible for a lot of other funny jams like that in the past. Hope y'all enjoy!

BTW: I won't be posting "song of the week" articles each week like I used to. I'll only do it if there's a new song I've been introduced to that I really love and feel like sharing. So don't consider me a sloth because I "forget" to post "song of the weeks" each week lol!

A Day in the Life of Sean O'Pry

You don't know who Sean O'Pry is? Well lemme introduce you to that jaw-dropping, flawless peach fuzz from Georgia. Sean O'Pry is an über cute and edible 22 years-old male model heading from Kennesaw, GA in the US of A. Sean was discovered through his Myspace account back in 2006 by America's Next Top Model fab judge Nolé Marin. O'Pry, who was 17 at the time, was an instant "hit" in the Fashion world and became number one on models.com list of male models. He's been named the most successful male model of 2009 by Forbes Magazine which means that not only is he incredibly lovely, he's also making big bucks. I don't know if he's gay but hey, it's always the same story with male models; us gays would always wish they were all gay so we could all benefit from their fashionable picturesque bodies and booties.

Fashion photographer Shannon Sinclair got interested in following Mr. O'Pry during a whole day of training his "pâté" at the gym, going to fittings en vue of a runway exhbiti and attending a fashion show with other sexy male models. Watch all the steamy pictures below, you won't be disappointed! He could be part of the "bel ami" crew I gues... :P.

Abusing Friendz

Last wednesday night, I've been a bad bad boy. Lemme put y'all into context; I invited my friend Mike over for dinner to catch up with our summers and thus, lives since we hadn't seen each other for about two months or more. We had been sexting (the new trend among young folks) each other for a while and I thought we'd be making these sex-texts come to live. It seemed as clear as mud to me that we'd be dropping it down that night. Perhaps the fact that my parents were in Hawaii for three weeks and that I had the casa to share with my brother made me enthusiastic about inviting Mike over and having him sleep over and thus, bend over LOL!

We chatted for a while after his arrival at my South shore residence and then headed to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner. My mom being so kind and adorable, had given my brother and I grocery cards with pesos on it to allow us to purchase some groceries while they'd be gone. So I didn't have to rip off my piggy bank wide open just for that "date" if we can qualify it so. We opted for ravioli pastas stuffed with beef and rosée sauce. We chose a cheap rosée wine to accompany that meal on-tha-go. That's when the drama began: we headed home and I was cooking the goddamn thing while Mr. Mike was standing next to me criticizing each action of mine regarding my cooking skills and I got slightly irritated. I'm pretty laidback at anything that I undertake so when it comes to cooking, I don't want to piss myself off with strict rules like "leave pastas in boiling water for a certain amount of time" then "cleanse them into cold water". I'm the kind of fella to just sweeten ma jam the way I want it to taste.

And so we had a subject of discord. What seemed to infuriate him the most was when I decided to put the cooked pastas in the microwave for a few seconds just to reheat the sauce with the pastas. He was like "oh my god, I usually let the sauce stir in a pan and then mix them together, I would nevah use the microwave"! I was like bitch please, it's gonna taste the same ol' thang! Maybe you readers could tell me if I'm the one who's sucky at cooking or if he's a drama queen?! Things got a bit more enjoyable after we started eating. Maybe he was in fact just overly hungry and was eager to eat my sausage instead?!

Our whole "date" was a bit awkward as my brother and his anoying and ass-dumb friends were all scattered around the house making boring jokes and speaking nonsense. I felt shy and embarassed having a date over as even if my bro's friends already knew I was gay, it was uncomfortable having them attending that! During our meal, I got to learn that Mr. Mike had been a real slut last summer! He's been hooking up with dudes he'd meet on his grindr account! I couldn't believe it; I never thought he was like that! I also got to learn that he's been hooking up with a boring dude who could barely get it up and that his other "regular" was a very aggressive black guy who liked to bang him several times during the same night and wouldn't even let him sleep since he was always craving for his ass!!!

I was both reluctant to his stories and excited as I thought he'd whore out for me too! What happened is after we were done with our "rosée meal" or you could dub it "gay meal" (lol), we headed in the basement to watch "Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild"! For those of you who don't know what this movie is, it's actually the sequel to Another Gay Movie and is actually pretty bad and stupid! Thought we have to mention it's a lot of fun, funny and exceedingly gratuitous! This movie features multiple porn stars such as Michael Lucas and Brent Corrigan and also drag queens like Lady Bunny and RuPaul. Amanda Lepore and Perez Hilton also make cameos in the film.

As we were watching that overly gay and horny movie, I was getting really tipsy thanks to rosée wine and horny as well. Up to one point, I couldn't seem to be able to keep my hands on me and my snake in my vivarium. Mike seemed more than uncomfortable and didn't make a single move on me. That didn't stop me from cuddling and spooning him intensely. He would let me do it but didn't really seem to enjoy it. I was getting hornier and madder each minute as I wanted to have sex really badly but he wouldn't make a move nor seemed interested. I found him very "agace" and it anoyed me that he was paying "hard-to-get" on me since I'm his friend. He went on to act this way all night but I was truthfully serious about getting laid and wouldn't let go of his ass. I even slipped my hand in his pants to grab his butt. Like I told you, he would let me do it but didn't seem to enjoy it which made the whole situation really silly.

The movie ended and we both headed upstairs in my bedroom. That's when I thought the action movie would start playing but hey, it turned out he couldn't be that kind of actor and was begging me to leave as he wanted to sleep late tomorrow and didn't want to sleep over. I was getting more and more exhausted and disappointed by him. If we hadn't been sexting, I don't think I would've tried anything on him as he seemed so prude and frigid in bed but hey, girlfriend's been sending me some naughty texts on a regular basis in the last months so I thought I would get to flip his coin but it seems like it's not gonna happen. I saw him at school this week and was like "hi, sorry if I turned out into a crazy rapist, I was drunk". He was like "oh it's okay, no worries". Can you be more constipated?! I guess he'll never pull out his pricks from his poopshoots.

Dominated Daddy

This one is a funny one, lemme tell ya! So as you might have obviously noticed, I'm a sex-addict and I really cannot handle a few weeks without popping one's cherry (or cranberry). And so that's how I got to the point where I was in desperate need of heat and moist last monday. I then had the brilliant and convenient idea to go online on my manhunt account and poke a guy I had been chatting with for months. He replied über quickly which probably means he was also really horny!

We chatted for like 30 minutes or so and then I popped the question: would he be willing to see me that night? He was like hell yeah I'm willing to, just cum over (!). And that's how he gave me his adress in the gay village and I got to ring his bell "trick-or-treat" a good month ahead of Halloween! I told you I couldn't wait :P.

The guy is 35 years-old (!). I know it sounds really old compared to my 21 years of innocence but hey, if he's open to meet up with someone my age and that he's cute and still got it, why shouldn't I agree upon these terms?! I actually don't like older men that much to be honest but it seems like all guys my age are acting like real divas and princesses and expect me to go pick'em up in a Limousine and pour them Dom Pérignon in their Starbucks mugs. Big news is I ain't got a penny since I came back from my Bigass trip so I'm surely not gonna spend my few pesos on a 20 year-old princess who's gon' leave my broke ass there after a few dates.

To tell you the truth, I'm crazily excited by these so-called princesses as they're really cute and have tight rumps but the thing is they've got more attitude than Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell reunited and have bigger egos than the Grand Canyon. Which is all why I'm leaning to older dudes who are a bit more desperate and therefore, nicer with me than these younger queers.

I'll call my new dude Silk as he's got smooth skin and his name begins with an "S". Silk is 35 years old and really good-looking for a man his age. He's got a few tattoos and has a goattee. At first sight, you would almost think this man is straight but hell isn't he straight! Not only is this man gay, he's part of these gay men that love to be "dominated" if you know wut I mean...! It's really funny to me to think about it as most of my adventures with older dudes resumed into myself having to accomodate them with their dominating tempers and the opposite would occure with younger fellas. But with Mr. Silk, all laws are reversed and I couldn't like it more!

I'll strip down for you in a literary manner and confess to you that I always have a certain level of stress before performing as a "top" as I don't want to ruin the whole vibe nor make my partner loose his desire for me and for some action. I can gladly assert that I have performed the task more than well last monday and even impressed myself! I mean Christ not that many people would have that much amount of enery nor would they perform for that long and neither would they be able to do twice in a row! I think I'm slowly yet surely becoming a pro! I'll let you know how it goes and if we'll become regulars. I'm scheduled to see him tonight after my shift and probably romp my stress and frustration from having worked! Lolz, I'll keep y'all posted about my sexual feats!

Swedish Berries part 2

Okay so as you read it in the part 1 of this adventure, I visited the Swedish capital with Nizza and Sultan last July and had a blast. We roamed through each borough of the city and had incredible fun during our one-time night out on the town. We went to a place which I don't even remember the name but I just know it must have contained a lot of consonens and was probably high-pitched lol. And so that's how we managed to get there with a few people from our hostel. The bar we went to was actually an outside bar on the street in downtown Stockholm. It was nothing that memorable or fun since we were stuck with boring guys that were actually a bit loser. One was German and realy uptight, I kept calling him "Deutscher Bratwurst" which means "German Sausage" lol. He was in fact quite cute and I thought he was gay since he was always hanging around with his effiminate counterpart -a Mexican chihuahua- it was actually not a real chihuahua but a latino drama queen lol.

It turned out both of them weren't gay. Too bad for me; I thought I could've showed him that Quebec sausages are quite big and tasty as well, we might not have homemade sauerkraut but we have really tasty poutine sauces. Anyways, back to the point here, so we went out with these two guys and also a very constipated Finnish guy who looked finished after two beers. I also thought that one was gay (!) lol. I don't know if it's because I was way too horny or if it's because they were all a bit queer but hey, that's what I thought.

And so we all gathered around a table and ordered ricidulously expensive cocktails. I mean yo you're in Sweden, you can't expect less than that; you have to pay like 20$ for a drink and 15$ for a beer!!! Let me tell you that when the booze is that expensive, daddy drinks less and sucks his straw to enjoy each sip of pesos he's just spent! I could drink almost three times more in Canada for the same price. Oh and as a matter of fact, I don't even drink that much so imagine someone who ain't a "cheap drunk" like me! I don't even wanna think about it! You would probably have to send your bank account in the "reabilitation section" of a hospital afterward!

So all I can remember from that night out is that Nizza was about to hook up with a crispy local Swede who was a bit older and stupid but that still had it going on for him and was also truly charming. I was getting drunk (after two drinks, so after spending 40$) and started saying stupid stuff without ever stopping to breathe. I could go on and on and on and on talking about Nizza's "tranbär" (cranberry) which is a new inside-joke we've coined together. I usually call a body, an ass, a middleleg or a person a "pâté" which is a french word for a meat pie or any kind of dough stuffed with something. But that's history as I now call all of them things tranbär which means cranberry in Swedish. I like to use obnoxious metaphors like that just to stimulate people's brains and make'em learn new words lol!

Nizza and I spent the night together after our boring companions had vanished and taken the route back to our hostel. We then remained seated with Nizza's potential cock and his filty-mouthed friend/boss. I was gettin sadder each minute as I was daydreaming about canoodling with a local Swede and I couldn't even seem to get a chat with anybody. Sometimes I think I'm cursed; I mean anybody with a bit of sex appeal would be willing to work his magic in Sweden but I can't seem to succeed at that task. Maybe one day I'll come back from Sweden after having popped a "tranbär" and be like goddamnit, "mission accomplie"!!

Our stay in Stockholm ended after four days as Nizza and I were scheduled to meet up with Terrine and Nizza's brother Thorn Art in London. Sultan had become overly weird with Nizza and he was trying to marry her as he was supposedly threatened by his social situation and might have to go back to his native country Uzbekistan if he didn't marry. Of course that was fuckery and we got to realize it pretty quickly so we would distance ourselves as much as possible from him near the end of our stay. I left for London pretty early on the last day and flew with SAS for the last time, AMEN! Nizza joined us a lil' later that day at around 10pm. The rest of our journey will be aprehended in my next article. Stay tuned ;-)!

Swedish "tranbär" (cranberry)

Sergels Torg in Stockholm

Gamla Stan Stockholm (Old Town)

Cute Swedish squirrel

Stockholm Street Festival

Canadian Performer Talulah

If you think the cigarette packs in Canada and the US display
nasty pics, you haven't seen the ones from Norway!!!