Last wednesday night, I've been a bad bad boy. Lemme put y'all into context; I invited my friend Mike over for dinner to catch up with our summers and thus, lives since we hadn't seen each other for about two months or more. We had been sexting (the new trend among young folks) each other for a while and I thought we'd be making these sex-texts come to live. It seemed as clear as mud to me that we'd be dropping it down that night. Perhaps the fact that my parents were in Hawaii for three weeks and that I had the casa to share with my brother made me enthusiastic about inviting Mike over and having him sleep over and thus, bend over LOL!
We chatted for a while after his arrival at my South shore residence and then headed to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner. My mom being so kind and adorable, had given my brother and I grocery cards with pesos on it to allow us to purchase some groceries while they'd be gone. So I didn't have to rip off my piggy bank wide open just for that "date" if we can qualify it so. We opted for ravioli pastas stuffed with beef and rosée sauce. We chose a cheap rosée wine to accompany that meal on-tha-go. That's when the drama began: we headed home and I was cooking the goddamn thing while Mr. Mike was standing next to me criticizing each action of mine regarding my cooking skills and I got slightly irritated. I'm pretty laidback at anything that I undertake so when it comes to cooking, I don't want to piss myself off with strict rules like "leave pastas in boiling water for a certain amount of time" then "cleanse them into cold water". I'm the kind of fella to just sweeten ma jam the way I want it to taste.
And so we had a subject of discord. What seemed to infuriate him the most was when I decided to put the cooked pastas in the microwave for a few seconds just to reheat the sauce with the pastas. He was like "oh my god, I usually let the sauce stir in a pan and then mix them together, I would nevah use the microwave"! I was like bitch please, it's gonna taste the same ol' thang! Maybe you readers could tell me if I'm the one who's sucky at cooking or if he's a drama queen?! Things got a bit more enjoyable after we started eating. Maybe he was in fact just overly hungry and was eager to eat my sausage instead?!
Our whole "date" was a bit awkward as my brother and his anoying and ass-dumb friends were all scattered around the house making boring jokes and speaking nonsense. I felt shy and embarassed having a date over as even if my bro's friends already knew I was gay, it was uncomfortable having them attending that! During our meal, I got to learn that Mr. Mike had been a real slut last summer! He's been hooking up with dudes he'd meet on his grindr account! I couldn't believe it; I never thought he was like that! I also got to learn that he's been hooking up with a boring dude who could barely get it up and that his other "regular" was a very aggressive black guy who liked to bang him several times during the same night and wouldn't even let him sleep since he was always craving for his ass!!!
I was both reluctant to his stories and excited as I thought he'd whore out for me too! What happened is after we were done with our "rosée meal" or you could dub it "gay meal" (lol), we headed in the basement to watch "Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild"! For those of you who don't know what this movie is, it's actually the sequel to Another Gay Movie and is actually pretty bad and stupid! Thought we have to mention it's a lot of fun, funny and exceedingly gratuitous! This movie features multiple porn stars such as Michael Lucas and Brent Corrigan and also drag queens like Lady Bunny and RuPaul. Amanda Lepore and Perez Hilton also make cameos in the film.
As we were watching that overly gay and horny movie, I was getting really tipsy thanks to rosée wine and horny as well. Up to one point, I couldn't seem to be able to keep my hands on me and my snake in my vivarium. Mike seemed more than uncomfortable and didn't make a single move on me. That didn't stop me from cuddling and spooning him intensely. He would let me do it but didn't really seem to enjoy it. I was getting hornier and madder each minute as I wanted to have sex really badly but he wouldn't make a move nor seemed interested. I found him very "agace" and it anoyed me that he was paying "hard-to-get" on me since I'm his friend. He went on to act this way all night but I was truthfully serious about getting laid and wouldn't let go of his ass. I even slipped my hand in his pants to grab his butt. Like I told you, he would let me do it but didn't seem to enjoy it which made the whole situation really silly.
The movie ended and we both headed upstairs in my bedroom. That's when I thought the action movie would start playing but hey, it turned out he couldn't be that kind of actor and was begging me to leave as he wanted to sleep late tomorrow and didn't want to sleep over. I was getting more and more exhausted and disappointed by him. If we hadn't been sexting, I don't think I would've tried anything on him as he seemed so prude and frigid in bed but hey, girlfriend's been sending me some naughty texts on a regular basis in the last months so I thought I would get to flip his coin but it seems like it's not gonna happen. I saw him at school this week and was like "hi, sorry if I turned out into a crazy rapist, I was drunk". He was like "oh it's okay, no worries". Can you be more constipated?! I guess he'll never pull out his pricks from his poopshoots.
