Okay so as you read it in the part 1 of this adventure, I visited the Swedish capital with Nizza and Sultan last July and had a blast. We roamed through each borough of the city and had incredible fun during our one-time night out on the town. We went to a place which I don't even remember the name but I just know it must have contained a lot of consonens and was probably high-pitched lol. And so that's how we managed to get there with a few people from our hostel. The bar we went to was actually an outside bar on the street in downtown Stockholm. It was nothing that memorable or fun since we were stuck with boring guys that were actually a bit loser. One was German and realy uptight, I kept calling him "Deutscher Bratwurst" which means "German Sausage" lol. He was in fact quite cute and I thought he was gay since he was always hanging around with his effiminate counterpart -a Mexican chihuahua- it was actually not a real chihuahua but a latino drama queen lol.
It turned out both of them weren't gay. Too bad for me; I thought I could've showed him that Quebec sausages are quite big and tasty as well, we might not have homemade sauerkraut but we have really tasty poutine sauces. Anyways, back to the point here, so we went out with these two guys and also a very constipated Finnish guy who looked finished after two beers. I also thought that one was gay (!) lol. I don't know if it's because I was way too horny or if it's because they were all a bit queer but hey, that's what I thought.
And so we all gathered around a table and ordered ricidulously expensive cocktails. I mean yo you're in Sweden, you can't expect less than that; you have to pay like 20$ for a drink and 15$ for a beer!!! Let me tell you that when the booze is that expensive, daddy drinks less and sucks his straw to enjoy each sip of pesos he's just spent! I could drink almost three times more in Canada for the same price. Oh and as a matter of fact, I don't even drink that much so imagine someone who ain't a "cheap drunk" like me! I don't even wanna think about it! You would probably have to send your bank account in the "reabilitation section" of a hospital afterward!
So all I can remember from that night out is that Nizza was about to hook up with a crispy local Swede who was a bit older and stupid but that still had it going on for him and was also truly charming. I was getting drunk (after two drinks, so after spending 40$) and started saying stupid stuff without ever stopping to breathe. I could go on and on and on and on talking about Nizza's "tranbär" (cranberry) which is a new inside-joke we've coined together. I usually call a body, an ass, a middleleg or a person a "pâté" which is a french word for a meat pie or any kind of dough stuffed with something. But that's history as I now call all of them things tranbär which means cranberry in Swedish. I like to use obnoxious metaphors like that just to stimulate people's brains and make'em learn new words lol!
Nizza and I spent the night together after our boring companions had vanished and taken the route back to our hostel. We then remained seated with Nizza's potential cock and his filty-mouthed friend/boss. I was gettin sadder each minute as I was daydreaming about canoodling with a local Swede and I couldn't even seem to get a chat with anybody. Sometimes I think I'm cursed; I mean anybody with a bit of sex appeal would be willing to work his magic in Sweden but I can't seem to succeed at that task. Maybe one day I'll come back from Sweden after having popped a "tranbär" and be like goddamnit, "mission accomplie"!!
