As you already know dear readers, Rodzilla traveled to Israel last summer! I know I'm hella late regarding posting about what I did while traveling last summer but hey, better late than never!
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| Tel Aviv skyline |
So Terrine and I flew to the center of the Middle East from London last July. We flew with BMI to Berlin and then with Air Berlin to Tel Aviv. The flight to get there was pretty pleasant despite that the temperature inside the plane was über hot! Terrine slept with her mouth open the whole time while I couldn't bat and eyelid and remained awake the whole time.
We landed in Tel Aviv at 5am and took a cab ride to the beach. We had no place to stay until at least 9h30am when our hostel (The Mugraby Hostel) would open. BTW: The Mugraby hostel sucks and their dorms are really nasty and have no A/C, not recommended! Despite the first floor of that hostel to be really yucky, we had had the good idea to rent a private room for two days, located on the second floor. Our room was nice and comfy and we had A/C (thank God)!!!That's how we spent three hours on the beach with all of our luggages waiting for the hostel to open its doors. Terrine was stressed and she threw a tantum at the Big Dog. Hey, these things happen when you're traveling! We spent the first days in Tel Aviv where we went to the beach, discovered and visited Jaffa (the oldest town in Israel), made our first Shabbat and unraveled Hilton Beach (the local Gay Beach).
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| Jaffa as seen from Tel Aviv |
Needless to say that Terrine didn't really feel like going to Hilton Beach which meant walking for thirty-five minutes along the beach to see speedo-clad Jewish hunks eyeing up one another. Which is all why I went there by myself and enjoyed every second of it!
We went to the museum of old Jaffa which was very enlightening and interesting. Two days after we had first arrived in Israel, we were traveling again and took a bus ride to Jerusalem and then to the Dead Sea. Trust me, there's nothing weirder than taking the bus in Israel; first you need to go to a bus terminal where you'll be inspected and a guard will go through your luggages as if you were in an int'l airport plus you will likely end up running for the bus and be sitting next to sleepy Israeli soldies with huge loaded guns. Worse happened to Terrine and I: there wasn't enough place for us on the bus to the Dead Sea so we had to be standing up the whole ride in the staircase leading to the front door of the bus!
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| Dead Sea in Ein Bokek |
Terrine and I had agreed to spend a few more pesos on our Dead Sea hotel as we wanted to make these two nights as memorable as possible and also as luxurious as we could. We booked two nights at Le Méridien Dead Sea which is located in Ein Bokek, south of the Dead Sea. Trust me, that was the best hotel room and balcony view I've ever had! When we first arrived in the room, there was a welcoming chocolate cake on the counter. We both had our own King bed, a huge bathroom and a balcony view atop the 14th floor of the hotel overlooking the Dead Sea, the evaporation ponds, the nearby mountains and Jourdan far East.
The Dead Sea in July shall make you dead too! It was FUCKING HOT during the afternoon, so hot in fact that it felt like a sauna and would make you dehydrated after ten minutes! Floating truly happens in the Dead Sea; you won't even have to walk a few steps in it that you can get to float. And speaking of floating, everything floats; even your cock'n ballz! That was a hell of a weird sensation, feeling my pecker lifting up even when resting!
We ate the best food at the morning buffet there and had the pleasure to enjoy McDonald's food and McFlurry for dessert. We also tried Israeli white wine which was pretty darn good. We left for Jerusalem two days later. Gosh I never experienced hot weather like the one in Jerusalem in the end of July!!! I could barely breathe since it was too hot and had to purchase bottled water with Aloe Vera every twenty minutes because I had sweated all I had drunk and felt dehydrated!
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| Panorama that I took from my balcony at Ein Bokek |
Jerusalem was a very intriguing city to visit, we stayed at Youth Citadel Hostel in the Old City. It was pretty cool and sketchy at the same time as the ceiling is very low and the walls are all actual stones that seem to be standing there since 2000 years! Our room looked like the manger where Baby Jesus was born! The restrooms and showers were so tiny and dirty that Terrine decided not to wash herself for three days! Trust me when the outside temperature is 40 degrees Celsius and you don't wash yourself, Baby Jesus can smell you from Heaven! And hell with it!
We visited the Holy Sepulcher, Mary's Tomb, Dome of The Rock, the Western Wall, The Jaffa Gate, Mary Magdalene's Church, Mount of Olives and Golgotha (where Jesus was crucified). Surprisingly, the city didn't feel that holy to me and it seems like the harrassing flea markets on the street had any effect but enhance my faith! We met a lot of nice people there though; a lot of Dutch, Belgians and Americans. Great people, good time!
We spent our last in Israel in Tel Aviv at the beach. We had nowhere to store our luggages as the friggin' Mugraby Hostel didn't want to host our luggages for the day even if we had stayed at their place five days before. We were both very pissed and stayed at the beach with our belongings until dawn, when we left for the airport. Ben Gurion is probably the most chaotic airport there is in the world and crossing its security is a hell of a hassle! We had to wait in line for ever, were shakendown by security guards who went through all of our luggages and examined the content of it by taking samples and stuff. All of these problems led us to take our flight an hour and a half later which thus made us miss our connection in Berlin.
I was so passed out on the flight back (lack of sleep during the last three days) that I could barely know if I was sleeping or awake or even dreaming! At one point I really needed to pee but the fat lady sitting next to me was asleep and wouldn't move. I tried everything possible to awaken her and even tried to pass above her, nothing worked. I refrained to even try again and fell asleep. When I woke up I didn't feel the need to pee anymore but realized that my shorts were wet and humid. I started freaking out and asked Terrine if she had spilled juice or water on me. She laughed and said she didn't have any drink nor liquid with her and so did I. We both exploded in a laughter when we realized I had peed on myself while asleep and had just noticed!
That very day was probably one to be forgotten! I peed myself and we had to take four flights in one day!!! After we landed in Berlin they sent us to Düsseldorf with Lufthansa and then in Düsseldorf they told us they wouldn't wait for us to fly to Venice so we had to fly to München (Munich) to take a final flight to Venice! When we arrived in Venice, we had to wait an extra two hours as our luggages had been sent to Frankfurt!!! For a second there I thought it was World War II and that Germany hated me! Amen. |
| The Welcome Cake we got at Le Méridien Dead Sea |
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| Le Méridien Dead Sea |
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| Dome of The Rock |
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| Western Wall |
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| Western Wall |
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| Mary Magdalene Church |
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| Mary's Tomb |
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| Mount of Olives |
