As you probably know, us University students have a shitload of readings and lectures to do for each one of our courses and sometimes, it gets tiring to try to memorize all of these theories, concepts and their examples! This is why oftentimes, we need some pizzazz in our lives! Most of us would just stop by the nearest bar and drink their lives (and wages), while some might want to have raunchy sex, watch a movie with a date, stuff his face like a pig, work out, work or simply read a very explicit and funny book. Well turns out that Rodzilla likes to do all of'em thangs and tries to manage his boredom as well as he can!
To be honest with you, six months ago one would have questioned me about Chelsea Handler and I would've responded by gently saying: "sorry, I don't know who that is". But my dear friend Cherry was nice enough to talk to me about Ms. Handler and her ferocious yet endearing lifestyle and even lent me her book. It occured that that book was probably the funniest one that Handler ever wrote; it was My Horizontal Life. This collection of unfortunate one-night stands is definitely a "must" when it comes to funny readings! I used to be a huge fan of Janice Dickinson and loved reading her books but after reading all of them, I had nothing left to read and needed to find myself a new obnoxious author to make me laugh while waiting in line for the bus or actually, inside the bus to commute to school. Not only are these kinds of books funny and enjoyable to read through, they will also provide you with great exposure and attention since their hardcovers habitually showcase their dear authors in a scantily clad, subjective way.My Horizontal Life was a hell of a refreshing reading for me as I read during my first semester (fall '10) and was really bored by the lectures I had to do for my classes (Economics, Computing, Management and Business Communication)! Trust me, despite being the easiest semester, it was by far the most boring one! I was glad to read stories that I could relate to and not feel like a total looser because most of my dates or one-night stands were awful or awkward! I now know that even millionaires, celebrities and good-looking people have had to deal with the same kind of issues!
A few weeks after I came back from Cuba, my friend Cherry told me she had bought another book from Chelsea Handler called Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea and that she was willing to lend it to me. I have to say that despite the fact that its title is hilarious, "Are You There Vodka" was ein wenig disappointing since the tales she narrated in that book were much less funny and memorable than in "My Horizontal Life" and also, the fact that it was very randomly-written with Handler jumping from one subject to another. I wouldn't say it's an unpleasurable read or that it should be avoided; it's still über funny!
What you need to know about Chelsea is that she's a Jewish (I love'em Jews and I'm expecting to hook up with plenty of'em this summer lollz!) stand-up comedian turned tv host and was born in Livingston, New Jersey back in 1975. She is the youngest child of six siblings and grew up feeling like an "outsider" since her family was highly colorful and laughed at by neighbours because of her dad possessing ten cars that were always broken and in pitiful conditions.
The only thing that Handler seems to like about her family is the fact that they're so pathetic that she can make fun of'em and will never run out of anecdotes to tell in her books or shows! She also said that her best childhood memories were when the whole family would go to Martha's Vineyard, sit back and relax. At 19 years old, she moved to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career but started out doing all sorts of low-paid, bad jobs such as waiting tables at cheap restaurants (pretty much like me actually lol). Just before she turned 21, she was arrested by the police because she was DUI and was forced to serve some time in prison (!). When she got to prison, they informed her that she had to be there because not only did she driving while being intoxicated with alcohol, she was also being investigated for using a fake I.D. (that belonged to her Mormon sister Sloane) whose holder had complained.
After telling her story about DUI to other offenders who found her shortcoming funny, she reasoned that it would be a great idea to try her shot at stand-up comedy. She was instantly successful. She began to do stand-up shows across the whole Los Angeles area for years and that's how she met her best friend who's 6 feet tall and black with an ass the size of a medicine ball, Shoniqua. Chelsea Handler is usually extremely funny and witty and loves midgets! One thing that I find sad though, is that she likes to call her own father "Bitch Tits"!!! Can you believe it?! I certainly can't! I mean even if my father annoys me at times, I would never call him such evil names!
One thing that both Chelsea and I have in common is our love for Whitney Houston, Vodka and black men! Handler will be releasing a new book this month, called Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me. Check it out! I sure will!
