I had the pleasure to spend the holidays with my dear Norwegian friend Nizza.
Geez there's nothing that I love more than traveling, unraveling new stuff and chilling out with friends! In effect, I had the privilege to spend the winter holidays with my dear friend Nizza who was sweet enough to fly all the way to New York to meet with me before Christmas.
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| Olympic Stadium from the Parc Maisonneuve |
As I wrote in my article about our New York escapade, Nizza, K, Michael and I spent a few days in the Big Apple shopping, eating out, drinking and visiting. The same day we left New York City, we drove all the way to Quebec and had the misfortune to get caught speeding on the highway by a sheriff from the New York State. Goddamnit, I was ten minutes from the Canadian border and had to get caught!
I guess Nizza will always remember the first time she saw my house as I almost drove us all the way into it; the streets being super icy and slippery, I couldn't brake and therefore slid towards the house and was stopped only by the garbage bin and the tree in front of my house!!!
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| SNOW AND ICE!!! |
I know Nizza way too well and was 100% sure she'd love going out on the South shore as its population consists mainly of douchebags and slutty, easy girls who are the Quebeccer-equivalent of Jersey Shore's guidos and guidettes. That first night in the "belle Province", I introduced my Norwegian counterpart to the "bring your own wine" restaurant fashion and stunned her by the latter. She said such a thing could never happen in Norway! We then all headed to the "Commission des Liqueurs" located in the wannabe-cool DIX30 district to celebrate Merry's departure for Nice, where she'll be an exchange student until May-June.
That night out was incredibly awkward as we were all exhausted, were living our first day or extremely nasty weather and didn't feel like mingling with all them other guests. The barman of the commission was the typical douchebag I wanted Nizza to catch a glimpse of which resulted into a grin as the bastard was unclassy enough to strip down to his underwear on the bar's counter in front of the whole crowd which consisted of 99% straight men and women (the residual 1% being myself, Rodzilla).
I was getting drunk and seized the opportunity to grab that rock-hard ass of his and dared Nizza to do the same. She didn't dare to, unfortunately! That same night, Nizza ate her first poutine which I think didn't bedazzle her as she said it ""taste like something her brother and her could freestyle on at home" lol! I guess it's not impressive anyway so we shouldn't be disappointed by her reaction lol!
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| Terrine feeding a deer from the inside of her car! |
We went out again on the friday night before Christmas but that will lead to another article (wait a bit!). Nizza was horrified to wake up the next day as she had been invited by Terrine to a family party in the not-so-fabulous town of Trois-Rivières. Thereat, she met Terrine's cousin Tristan who unlike the clothing brand of the same name, is not super classy nor businessman-clad. Indeed, that cousin of hers is missing one leg and has his whole body covered with biker-like tattoos and piercings. Nizza said she liked him so I told her she should call for a booty session but it seems like she felt uncomfortable to get stuffed by a one-legged ex-military. I made a mental picture of that and imagined the scene similar to Rose McGowan's character in "Planet Terror" when she's making love with her bf in the movie!
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| My horny dog humping my leg! |
I think one of the HIGHlights of Nizza's stay here in Quebec is when we went to Parc Oméga (which is similar to Parc Safari) where you get to drive through the animals' fences and feed them from your car! Wild pigs tried to jump into Terrine's car and a buffalo got mad at me after I fed it a carrot and made an attempt to bang Terrine's window! The same day that we went there, we also attended the staff party at my restaurant which was overly hilarious! We ate like pigs and danced our way all together with all the employees from my job and got to see my insane Iranian boss move his hips on the dancefloor!
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| Bienvenue au Québec! |
Nizza met a very hunky cook whom I train at the gym with and got all excited about making out with him but ended up wasting way too much time and saliva with "the giant" as I like to call him; an extremely tall but yet ass-dumb 19 y.o. dude who could easily be compared to a tree-eyed fish in an ocean "dead zone"! I mean that dude is one hell of an anoying twat and trust me, you don't wanna have to talk to that bastard as he's officially retarded and brainless. What infuriated me the most was when he dared to invited himself to my house to pursue making out or even more with Nizza. Since then, he's been lying that he was completely uninterested about her and that he was simply waiting for my brother to arrive (but the thing is, it was 4am and he was in Nizza's bed in the basement)!!!
Nizza also got to meet Fabulous Andy and St-Lawrence at a dinner the latter had organized at his place. She spent her last day in the "most corrupted province in Canada" sightseeing Montreal through my car's windows (it was -20 outside) and her last evening at the Strøm spa with my new date and I. The poor Scandinavian hottie had to take a night bus to New York City as she was taking her first flight back home from JFK. I felt sorry to "abandon" her like that but there was no way I could travel back to NY at that time :-(. Nizza also got to see how ridiculous and ugly the Terminus Longueuil looks as her bus departed from there lol!
