I'm writing this down as I realized that I really needed to grow up and take responsibility of my life!
I know it sounds utopic and cheesy but I truthfully foresee to change my life habits and I intend to work on that in the nearby future. This semester has been incredibly hard for me and without wanting to complain about it, I hated it but I still believe it happened to me so that I could understand some primary important stuff about life and how to live. I think I have to grow from it and acquire knowledge.
Today I went to see a social worker for the first time and it felt fairly emancipating. I guess that when you have so much problems and issues to deal with and you can't seem to cope from it, you should consult a therapist to guide you and help you. It's been a couple of years that I'm thinking about consulting to relieve myself from some stress and ongoing concerns but I have never had the guts to call in and book an appointment.
As my mom is a social worker, I didn't want to see one of her colleagues despite the fact that it's supposed to be highly confidential. I just didn't feel comfortable talking about my problems (which sometimes include my family and my parents) to someone who is part of my mom's work team ya know!! That's why I went to see a social worker who works in a Western suburb of Montreal that's approximately 15 minutes from my house.
My rendez-vous was an hour long and was pretty intense since I had to provide the social worker with the broad background of my life and thus, myself. It was a bit intimidating at first but enable me to feel more comfortable and free afterward. I'm glad the therapist wasn't too nice (like a fake form of nice) and that she didn't seem dumb lol! She was a bit dry and cold but was genuinely professional and helpful. I liked the fact that she helped me with introspection and told me I was bright about having different visions of possibilities. She said I sounded like I'm smart about my problems and have enough common sense to know when I'm wrong or when I'm unsure about something.
I intend to follow a full therapy with her during the next months to mend from that disastrous past semester and forget about it!
That being said, I think we will all arrive to that point in our early twenties where everything seems uncertain and unclear and where motivation, determination and discipline seem impossible to attain or achieve. I guess we all need some nurturing, guidance, framing and surrounding. Having close and good friends, a loving family and some plans for the upcoming future are all stuff that can help to brighten our everyday shit. I'm writing this down to let you know that I'm human and that we all have deffects and that these very deffects are responsible for our uniqueness and the singularity of our own paths.
Amen on that!!!
