Cheers readers! I'm PolskaVodka, one of Rodzilla's hottest and trendiest friends. This is my first time guest-writing on the fabulous “Aftermath” that we all love, or hate, or love to hate so much, and hopefully not the last... Cuz I’ve got quite a bit to say! So you all better sit your asses down and listen, because here we go ;).
As you adamant readers obviously know, Rod works at Pizza Hut Hot, and so do I! We actually met in that fateful building, both of us stuffing crusts... Those were the days. But enough reminiscing, it’s time to get down to the serious shizzle. The topic at hand is: DELIVERY GUYS, and specifically the ones Rod and I work with. How is it that they all seem to have the same “co to nie ja” (that’s Polish, for all of you out there, and basically means that they think their shit don’t smell) attitude, and why, just because they drive cars? Come on guys, there’s nothing glamorous about you pulling up to the doors or random strangers and handing them a pizza that’s been stinking up your ride for the past 30 minutes.
However, they do seem to find themselves to be quite the macho men, and incessantly hit on whatever moves... Which, unfortunately for us, is usually the waitresses that they torture work with. Rod had told me about a few such incidents (which I’m sure he’ll be delighted to enlighten you about in the near future) but I’m here to tell you about one such incident where I work, where things got hot, and I mean HOT.
So there’s a waitress that I work with, let’s call her CottonCandy, or CC for short. So, CC and I had been working together for quite a while when this new delivery guy started working with us, let’s call him JVC. (Here it’s important for all of you outside the Pizza Hot business to know that delivery guys come and go as often at Kim Kardashian says stupid shit, which, if anyone has ever put themselves through the torture of watching her, is pretty much all the fking time!).
So, JVC and CC started working together, and their shifts always seemed to coincide, as did mine with theirs, but then things got interesting... And JVC and CC became JVCC (but only during work hours, since CC does have a boyfriend... How scandalous!) So things started getting hot and heavy after closing hours, in the bathrooms as well as on the grease-stained banquettes in the dining room. Nothing too nasty at first, just making out, then heavy petting, then almost S.E.X.! (I don’t cross out the almost here since I know for a fact that it never happened, though plans were in fact made, and it very nearly did, in that very same car that has held more than one pizza) But then JVC left, and JVCC once again left only CC. So here is the query I pose to you readers: what is the appeal of delivery guys, especially when they have girlfriends and kids!?!?! Ladies, you don’t deserve to take any woman’s sloppy seconds, and why would you wanna be the baby mama to kids who already know how to walk and talk? Even when you’re only looking for a fling, don’t bother looking for one here, because there’s nothing there but an empty pizza box and a piece of leftover stuffed crust.
